Reflection

"My Jiu-Jitsu sucks.  I'm not getting any better at this.  Do I really want to keep getting my ass beat?  Aren't you a bit old for this type of game now?  Maybe injuries have finally taken their toll?"

These are the thoughts that flooded my mind in the immediate moments after my last match of the day.  Another O'fer.  First tournament of the year and it was 0-3 this time.  I fucking hate losing.  And then I step back, and I breathe for a minute or two....And I answer all my questions to myself:  "No. Slow progress is still progress.  I won't be beaten for long.  Probably.  Most definitely."

In all fairness, I'm 38 years old, and still trying while most people my age are home on the couch.  And yes, I'm injured and I hurt, ruling out my ability to do certain things.  On top of that I was sick all week and missed a day and a half of work, stuck in bed.  I dislike making excuses, but is reality considered an excuse?  I've gotta get back on the horse and go to work.  In just under a month there is another competition and I'll be there.

Other then being sick, I felt o.k. coming into the day.  I was moved up in weight from <170 to 170-185 and all my opponents were a bit larger then me.  In my first match it was back and forth, he was up 2-0 before I scored a quick 2 and tied it, we repeated this sequence again maintaining the tie.  I was working on a collar choke from knee-slice and really mashed his face, but knew I wasn't going to get it.  Then I tried to move to mount 1st by cutting across, then by stuffing his leg under and behind me but  ended up being shucked off and with my ankle tight under his arm, tapped to an ankle lock.  My second match saw me make a dumb mistake, my opponent control me and pass working his way up 10-0, but I managed to defend well.  In the last minute I scored 7 unanswered but it wasn't enough to come back.  In my third match, I was completely shot and with nothing in the tank, lost 9-0.  

There were some positives on the day for me.  When I went back and watched my matches, I keep seeing flashes of scoring, position, and technique, but I need to put it all together.  Maybe I can and maybe I can't, but at least I can try.   

Some other positives on the day were...Chris winning double gold at blue belt, the kid is really turning out to be pretty good, he won one of his matches in about a minute and a half...Marc is a beast.  I saw one of his matches and he mauled his opponent...Kevin (brownbelt) looked pretty good out there for not having competed in a while...Adrienne, one of the whitebelts had a tough NoGi match but she kept working and did some good things under pressure...Josh did really well in the Gi and is starting to put it together.  

After the tournament, Laura and I went out to eat, although I wasn't overly hungry I had an awesome sirloin burger.  From here we went to an Ice bar on a lake for a bit where we had some drinks and she took some really awesome pictures of the frozen lake and some ice sculptures.